How do you overcome setbacks?
Many have asked me how you continue to move forward daily when you have major setbacks in life. How do you overcome setbacks? Overcoming setbacks is a reflection process for me: bad things are going to happen in life, it’s all part of the process, you can either get stuck at that point of your life or move forward and gain from the experience.
Life alerting events:
Yes that is easier said than done, some setbacks in life are major life alerting events, it truly is at this point in your life that you have to ask yourself, will this be the moment that defines me for the rest of my life or will I choose to find a way to move on and continue to live my life to the fullest.
What is a life alerting event?
What is a life alerting event: something that hits you so hard you’re not sure you can get up from the setback? i.e.: Loss of a love one, business failure, financial set back (bankruptcy) etc. I have suffered through some major life alerting events and have found myself just floating through life always dwelling on the event every time I need to make decisions or do something in life my mind would go back to the setback. How do you overcome this? Through the process of Moving Forward.
The Process of Moving Forward:
I have found that if you go through a five step reflection or healing process its helps you to sort out the event and find some kind of positive from it and then use that positive to move past the event. Don’t get me wrong here, you’re not forgetting about the event, you’re just learning from it. The major setback (event) will also be part of your history, but hopefully it will no longer define you.
Five step reflection or healing process:
- Why me?
- How do I choose to view the setback?
- List something good that came out of the setback?
- How can I reshape the event in my mind?
- Put into place the positive views of the setback and then dwell on them.
So why did this happen to me, this may be hard to hear but guess what; it didn’t happen to just you, it happens too many of us, it’s part of life. The journey of life will deal us some major setbacks, you’re not alone it’s not just happening to you! So don’t look at the setback as it’s something you did wrong, find out how it happen and how you can keep it from happening again.
How do I choose to view the setback?
The way you determine to view the event (setback) in your mind is the way it will define you for the rest of your life. Did you lose your business because the worlds against you or it was someone else’s fault? When you view it that way then you are creating a negative response to the event. The best way to move past a major setback is to take full responsibility for it no matter what happen. When you take responsibility for setbacks in life you now own it and can find a way to get better from it and move forward. Find a way to view the event in a positive light.
List something good that came out of the setback?
Make a list of the good things that came out of the setback. You may feel nothing good happen from the event, but I will bet if you reflect deeply on it you will find something. Maybe it’s only the fact that you admit something you would of did differently the next time. Build on that thought and replace the negative with the positive thought in your mind and the healing process begins.
How can I reshape the event in my mind?
Now build on that positive thought and reshape the event in your mind; yes it was a tragedy, but if it didn’t happen, this positive that came out of it wouldn’t have happened. Now the event has become a positive and you can begin to heal.
Put into place the positive views of the setback and then dwell on them:
Put the positive views into your mind when you recall the event and dwell on them your outlook will change and you will begin to develop a move forward attitude. The art of resilience will become a part of the process when setbacks happen in your life and you will be able to deal with them in a positive light and not let them derail your life but enable you to develop that GET BETTER attitude and MOVE FORWARD approach.